"My job is being Akanishi Jin"

Translated my old fanfic of Natsu&Yukiya from Bandage for Harle. If you accidentally read it and wanna say something, your comments are super welcome, and...any correction in English is super welcome too...*wipe off sweat drops* 

part 1

Natsu woke up when the window reflects the first blush of dawn. He touched his face and it was all soaked in tears. He tried his best to remember what he dreamt but found nothing. Staring blankly into the ceiling shimmering in the dark, Natsu could no longer sleep.

Although Natsu had moved for many times, he always preferred to living in the busy area. Every time when he opens the window, the overwhelming noise breaks in and shovels every corner of the room. This way Natsu can feel the breath of people living around and the vibe of the city. This way he wouldn't feel lonely.

“Had a nightmare?” the one who slept beside him sit up and asked.


“Yea…”

“What were you dreaming?”

Reached out to Natsu’s wet cheeks, Yukiya drew himself closer to Natsu, so close that his long hair caressed Natsu’s collarbone.

Natsu suddenly grabbed Yukiya’s hair which was slightly moisten due to the morning dew and their lips closed in on one another.

Yukiya likes kissing Natsu’s lips, not in a sexual way but more for the closeness and intimacy he can get through kissing him, as if it’s a special language used only between them. Natsu also likes it because he can feel himself be surrounded by warmth. Sometimes they don't even get up right after they're awake. They stay in bed, talking randomly and kissing from time to time.

“Asako came in yesterday.” Yukiya finally left Natsu’s lips. Falling beside Natsu’s cheeks, his long black hair was a little messed up by Natsu’s fingers.

Natsu blinked. He did see a familiar figure in a corner away from the crowd. The venue was so dark that he didn’t recognize her at once until he checked for a few times.

How many years have passed ever since the last time he saw her?

LANDS went to drink after the concert but Natsu got drunk so fast that Yukiya had to take him home to sleep. That probably explained why he woke up so early. All he remembered was how Kenji threw a gift into the air and caught it with big joy. He couldn't even recall if Arumi went or not.

“You were looking for her before we went to drink…”Yukiya’s voice rose from the silence and put a full stop on Natsu’s messed-up memory. Unlike Natsu who tends to mumble his words a lot, Yukiya has something so clear and assuring in his voice which can’t be easily neglected. It’s the same as the way he looks at people.

For Natsu, the first impression of Yukiya was no more than a ghost in leather. Bending his head low all the time and having an uninterested expression on his face, the only thing he reacted to was the Music. Now Natsu knows Yukiya can cry can laugh can also get angry. Like everyone, he shudders when he catches a cold. He was born in a normal family with two sisters and one brother. But no one, except Natsu, knows how tender Yukiya can be as a lover.

 
“I did, but she left already.”Even if he did meet her again, would anything be different? Natsu doesn’t know the answer.

Through Yukiya’s long hair, Natsu looked into the plain ceiling. Quietly, all the old memories gathered together and weaved into a huge spider web in an invisible space linking together both the past and the present.

Seeing her again, while singing on the stage, reminded him of the days he almost drawn himself in that ditch called desperation…

A deep sorrow started to grow inside him, Natsu turned his face to the windows and closed his eyes. Yukiya lay down with a sigh and clutched Natsu’s shoulder tightly.    

When I was reading and watching Jin's WMG contract news, I know it can be new source for his haters to bash him for the rest of their life, but I can't help being proud of him. All I see is he has grown up from his frustration/depression of the Wonder thing, and started to take such thing in his own hand.

People aren't Jin fans probably would never know/care about the Wonder issue. However, imo it was the key to what has happened now.

Last year around March/April, Jin found a piece in Crystal Kay's music producer's demo and he liked it very much. They together developed it into a song. Later Jin worked on the lyrics with CK, and he's also the producer of the PV, which like we all know was very well done.

The first time Wonder was performed in BtR concert, it recieved great reaction from the audience. Jin then openly showed his strong desire to release this song as a single. We know once Jin says he wants something, it means he's all working for it and tries his best to make it become real, and that's probably why he seldom showes his desire openly. So fans felt the hope and many started to organize the petition to request Wonder.

One thing shocked me at that time was...Japanese fans all turned to Sony to request the song, not Johnny's. This made me realize Jin fans had very little trust in Johnny's and it's the consequence of frequent disappointment they got from his jimusho in history.

So after a while, CK came out and told Wonder was not going to be released but was made only for KT concert.

The whole thing left such a gutted feeling. Wonder was so ready to release, the only thing it needed was the YES from JE, but JE turned it down. According to Jin's interview, he was so desperate about it so he almost contacted certain recording company by himself. He's also frustrated by the reality that he couldn't collaborate with non-JE artists freely under such a system (if you are confused about this info, check this interview).

People might say, everyone in JE is waiting his whole life for a release, so why just you can't wait? Yeah that's very right...but still Jin has every right to ask for a release, just like others do too.

I think Wonder taught Jin a lesson--in stead of wasting your time to wait for a never coming YES from JE, you better take things in control by your own hand.

After his Nissay live was announced and Eternal was sung for the first time in the end of 2009, I seriously started to think about Jin's future release. No matter how positive I was trying to be, I couldn't see the possibility he would be allowed to release any album in the near future. Bandage album was released because Johnny's was more than happy to mark Kobayashi's name down in Johnny's history. An album produced by jin himself? Just no way in a short time...(don't bring up Yamapi here, he belongs to the privileged class)

And we all know Jin also has a dream to release an album in US. There's zero possibility he can make it if he's only under JE label. I think ever since Jin got the chance to do his solo live and got invited by UTB, he already started to look for a solution for that. 

About Jin and KT, there's really nothing much more to say. I don't think there's one tiny lie in his line "I have never thought of going solo, just that I went after what I wanted to do at that point of time, and the (solo) was the result of that. " He wants to share and release his music. After all it's up to the JE system and KT&Jin's future schedule to decide if he's in KT or not/going solo or not. When people keep accusing him being selfish and being indifferent about KT, they probably just ignored the thing we Jin fans kept asking--why JE system must work in that way...why idols like Jin can't have more freedom? When Jin talked about his goal early this year, he said he'd wish to release his own album in three years (apparently he knows exactly how much he can get in this system). I honestly don't think anyone would miss the opportunity (UTB or WMG's invitation) offered if he's Jin. Right, He did have the choice, didn't he? So, you have every right to blame him for choosing his dream.

And things are definitely not as easy as it was showed in news. If the decision was made in June, what's the point of doing yellow gold tour w/o release nor proper promo (except the last minute MTV IGGY which was a real surprise tho)? Apparently Jin was still under test during that time. Talking about this, nothing came easily. He started almost from zero. Around 16 new songs (and numerous music pieces for interlude and dance corner) in a year:
 
Eternal (was possibly done earlier)
A Page
Christmas Morning
Keep it up
INP
Adjust the love
Hey girl!
Paparats
My Mp3
Reset
Bass go boom
Yellow gold
Tipsy love
Oowah
Body talk
The fifth season

Although he still has a long way to go, we see how much he has improved both in composing and in lyric writing in such a short time. So proud of our jinjin!!

Last but not least, I'm always thinking about what kind of role Johnny's has been acting in the whole thing. This year, we saw Johnny-san the old man a lot in Jin's US affair. Ever since March many theories have been flying in the air and little was answered. Now we can safely say although Jin took all the blames from the beginning to the end, JE has been behind everything from the very start, and obviously JE wants US market and Jin's strong wish to stand on US stage made himself the right one JE can use to test the water. Although Johnny-san talked a lot here and there, we hardly saw the real support from JE (maybe we need expert in this industry to explain how and how much). Anyway, the experiment is still on, we'll for sure see JE often even after Jin contracted with WMG.

I need a half-hiatus from the internet life I've been involved in too much lately, especially these days...but I can't go without putting everything together at least for once.

Everyone is upset. I am too.

Did I see it coming? Actually Jin convinced me that he would go back to KT before he headed to LA, but I started to feel his wish wouldn't work after I read KT-TUN's NMP interview. There's a big disagreement going on in the group. The more member stuffs I read the less I saw the possibility he would return.

Jin, call him selfish or careless or baka or whatever you like, has an ideal thought about KT that KT is made of 6 individuals that each can totally do what he wants, by this the group would always have a fresh and dynamic look...

Of course it's not gonna work. Not everyone is as individualistic as you. 

Someone buys a van and drives around the world. Someone pays mortgage every month for the big house he lives. Different lifestyle different directions.

I think it's good for both parties also good for the fandom. Maybe the split-up should be done earlier...but anyway...what is done is done now. Let's all move on.

And I hope Jin learns a lesson that he's not living on Mars but in a society, where he can be crashed into dusts anytime. Jin, you said you were prepared for the end if "the you" was not going to be accepted, I wonder if you were fully prepared. I love you for who you are and want you to stay as you are and never change, but I hope you learn to protect yourself sometimes. You know you don't have to be blamed like this if you handled thing a little better...


Before I have time to mourn over the KT memory, I'm more worried about what's gonna happen to him. Where is the support Johnny's said in the news? Is it possible to fill the venues in the tour with such a poor promotion and no release at all? These questions have been stuck in my head for three days. 

The split-up really put Jin into a tough situation...KT fans are mad with him...some Jin fans are also mad with him...It's inevitable he's gonna lose some support he used to have right before his US tour thank to the split-up news. And Johnny's already said Jin has to be successful, otherwise he's basically finished both in US and Japan (very nice, Johnny's, very nice).

Thank Gina for starting the INP project, by which people can't go to his lives can at least do something and show their support. Thank the girls in LA, who took time and effort to record UTB stuffs and spread the love on internet (although youtube is getting bitchy on them now). I hope fans in US would try their best to go, as some fans who are living far far away from US are actually planning to go. He really needs our support more than ever now.

*I hope his news songs are even more amazing than the old ones (but I know Christmas Morning will always be my NO.1^^)

"Shane is a dream of every girl"

I don't know who said it, but it's definitely what I thought after I watched The L Word. I don't really like this 6-season-long lesbian show, I probably just don't like any American TV show, but I got hooked up by one of the characters in TLW, and of course it's Shane...who can resist her?

I actually think straight girls have bigger crush on her than real lesbian ones. Shane is an Androgynous beauty. In many scenes, she's more a beautiful and sexy boy--slim body, silky skin, refined profile and everything about her reminds me of Adonis type of teenager god in Greek mythology.

Indeed she turned the straight girl Molly into gay in S5. It was quite hilarious and cute. Molly's famous line "go gay for Shane" made me laugh so hard~XD It's so true tho~

I believe there are many fangirl comments about Shane flooded on internet during TLW time, and I don't think I can add anything more.

Honestly American dramas are always quite shallow, messy and commercial to me. Characters develop relationship in a few minutes...which totally made me LOL and bored me to death. In TLW, Shane had some serious relationship with Carmen and Molly, but neither of them impressed me. No wonder characters in American dramas can move onto another relationship super fast, since each doesn't have solid base and deep feeling. However compared with Shane in love, I prefer her playing around and picking up random girls more, because like it says "Shane is a dream of every girl", she doesn't belong to anyone. Shane should never grow up, never age and never change.



( pics under the cut )

I think everyone knows that You&Jin live got recorded on Feb 25, but it doesn't necessarily mean Johnny's will release a DVD of it (I read that Ta-chan's concert got recorded but no DVD so far), so if you are desperate for a DVD and you haven't sent the petition postcard yet, please do it.

Since it's got recorded, you have plenty of time to write whatever you like...add to the end like "marry me Jin" or "you look most manly without facial hair" "Please quit smoking" something like that~Joke joke~cough~XD 

check address and samples here, but you can always write your own words.

( more under the cut )

14th


MC part in the afternoon show

Jin: Valentine day ne. Who will you give the chocolate to?

Fans: Jin

Jin: That’s not right (smile bitterly). You should give it to your lover or husband. Today is Valentine day, and I see husbands who are forced to come with their wives…I got 4 chocolates, although all of them are obligation ones. A sister like girl just came and gave me the chocolate. She called me and said that she made it with her friend yesterday, but her friend forgot it at home. See? But I’m still very happy.

( more under the cut )

12th

MC:

Jin: Good evening. Akanishi Jin desu. Welcome to You&Jin. You&Jin together is Yuujin=friend.

The Audience: Kya~~~~

Jin: (covering his ears) Urusai (laugh)….Gomen! (laugh) The songs I co-operated with…

( more under the cut )

Tags: jin

Notes

# Jin sang Hatachi no Sensou in both shows. When he’s singing it, he sometimes closed his eyes for a while and it was very touching. In one show, Fans noticed his voice was a bit dry after the rap battle, but it’s still a very beautiful performance.

# There’s some change in the dance corner. Jin added a long solo dance in, which was very kakkoi.

# Jin put too much of himself in singing Eternal that after it was over, he breathed heavily for a few seconds. The stage for Eternal was very beautiful, he was standing on a huge ballroom, which reflects the profile of the continents and oceans when he’s singing.
 
# MC was not as long as 9^th and 10^th ones, but fans all went kya~kya~and Jin was all shy, which was very cute. Jin said he could be him now was all because of fans’ support. He also said he would definitely continue doing it (star live) if he‘s allowed.

# Someone wiped sweat off jin’s face by a handkerchief during the dance corner and mischievously threw it off stage, which made fans scream like mad (==|||||||||||)

# The time when he walked off the aisle, he took a little girl from the audience onto the stage and danced with her. The little girl was all in shock, so she’s quite stiff, but Jin was all smiling (very big bright beautiful smile according to fans)

# After the show finished and the audience thought it’s all over, Jin’s head suddenly showed a bit from one side of the stage and said “This show is over. Thank you bye~bye” (XD) This is so much like what he did in BtR concerts <3

# In the afternoon show, Shirota Yuu went and stood with the audience on the first floor~XD. Three boys from HSJ went. They were watching from the guest seats, and they were Chinen, Morimoto and Arioka. In the evening show, Nakai went and he‘s sitting with Johnny-san. One report says she saw artists like audience on the second floor.

# In the beginning of the show, all the dancers and performers walk off the stage, and dance, hug and chat with the audience, so it really gave you some sort of club feeling.

# The show has been officially extended to 2 hours and a half (including the 30mins break time) since yesterday.

# Start from today, you can buy the live goods without ticket, but you can only go into the hall and buy them after the live starts.

# Today Jin has an afternoon show to do and also Music Station in the evening. I hope he won't get sick under such a crazy schedule. Otsukare Jin~!!! Gambatte ne~!!

*Johnny's released 20 You&Jin Live shop pics check previews here


samples from XQ





One more time--

I noticed there were many replies under my trans entries saying that they wanted a DVD, but not so many actually participated the project of requesting the DVD so far.

I'd like to say unless your voices are heard by the people in charge, there's no use praying in LJ. If you really want the show in DVD, you better do something before it's too late.

Some might think it's useless, but if it really is, Jin wouldn't have asked fans to fill the sheets after live (for him being able to do the show next year and also for the DVD).   

That's all what I wanna say. There are two ways you can do. Just click the links and follow the instructions

About postcard: http://community.livejournal.com/jin_daily/646755.html  
About official message board: http://community.livejournal.com/kattunlove/5819593.html 

First, I noticed there were many replies under my trans entries saying that they wanted a DVD, but not so many actually participated the project of requesting the DVD so far.

I'd like to say unless your voices are heard by the people in charge, there's no use praying in LJ. If you really want the show in DVD, you better do something before it's too late.

Some might think it's useless, but if it really is, Jin wouldn't have asked fans to fill the sheets after live (for him being able to do the show next year and also for the DVD).   

That's all what I wanna say. There are two ways you can do. Just click the links and follow the instructions

About postcard: http://community.livejournal.com/jin_daily/646755.html  
About official message board: http://community.livejournal.com/kattunlove/5819593.html 

------------------



notes of 10th

# Jin sang Hatachi no sensou and many cried. Some even complained that they had a headache after crying too much.

# Nishikido Ryo went to Jin’s live yesterday. At first he sit on a back seat wearing a hat, but when it’s Hey girl, he appeared on the stage and sang with Jin. Ryo wore green sports like top and a baseball cap in hip-hop style. They sang together and in the middle of the song, they both turned their backs to the audience, clutched each other’s shoulder and started to talk. They together looked so happy and Jin was very hyper^^ After the song, Ryo went off the stage.

# In the ending part, Jin did some ero thing again^^ and this time other than thrusting, he lowered his body (like we saw in Hell No! dance) onto the floor, which was very sexy.

# The MC time became a Q&A concer, like the fans ask questions and Jin answers~(nice idea, and I read it’s because Jin says he’s not good at MC so they figured out this formula). Many overseas fans were shouting where were they from and Jin said his famous Urusai! (XD) The time he finished MC, fans were asking for more, and Jin went “U! MCed too much!” (XD) BTW, an overseas fan had a chat with Jin during the MC, which made others very jealous~;P

# During the time he walked down to the aisle, he danced with a little girl (an audience?), and he looked very happy.
 

and more paparazzi  













omg~he jumps!!!